we didn't have christmas.

not,

at least,

in the way i was raised to think of christmas.

there was no tree.

there were stargazers:

there was no unwrapping.

there was un-stuffing:

there was no snow.

or reindeer.

there was a sunset:

there was no turkey.

there was lobster.  and pomegranate seeds:

it was a bundle of made-up newness,

spur of the moment happiness.

maybe it WAS christmas,

after all.

a pit bull xmas tale : toys vs affection . . .

a little story without words,

from this christmas:

the end.

cross promoting MYSELF (something i am loathe to do) -

so today, i link you not to here,
but elsewhere,
to get you to taste some other edges of my world.

first, go here:

SAM SAFFMAN

emascul8 is my blog on fashion.  and why men shouldn't be afraid of it.
(if you want to read more, just click on the header of the blog, and you'll get to the homepage.)

then, go here:

BLUE IS YOUR COLOR

i used to write a lot of poetry.  i was pretty decent.  got published at one point, even. 
here's some of it, i upload sporadically as i stumble over pieces.

see there.

i was a poet, and you didn't know it.

a MANACOP-tacular reason to celebrate . . .

um, daddy.  what are you doing?

you seem so happy!

enchiladas with home-made mole?

home-made ceviche?

grr wants to help.

avec was a bit let down to learn it wasn't for her.

we were having company!  kira and manacop . . . our first dinner par-tay.

and michael's b-day . . . a good excuse to turn this:

into this:

the home-made strawberry rhubarb blackberry crisp with mexican vanilla ice cream.

thank you for being born, mr. manacop!

RESOLUTIONS FOR A NEW ERA :

if 2008 has taught me anything,
it is that with trauma,
with change,
comes great reward.

IF
you have one key element.

the ability to push through.  to keep going.  and to not accept anything
as inevitable.

winston churchill has one of my favorite quotes of all time
that sums up this philosophy.
during world war 2, he was asked how he kept his spirits up,
how he kept fighting when things seemed bleakest.

and he said:

"when you find yourself going through hell,
keep going."

so simple. 

so in this year, as i figure out where my career goes, and where life takes me, i'm comfortable with the following facts.  i will make mistakes.  i will not win every battle.  i will struggle with change. 

but now more than at any point in my life (drum roll, fanfare, etc.) i can feel confident that whatever happens, i'm going to be fine.  because i am fully, impactfully, disturbingly, myself.

whatever that means.  :)

i'm actually ridiculously optimistic right now.  but for all of you out there who've just survived '08 . . . i imagine you can relate to the concept.

so here's to you, my blog friends.

open your eyes this new morning,
and resolve to keep going.

i can feel the change in the air,
and it's so much more rewarding to change
together.

evelyn lee brings wonder to our lives, again.

evie and i were google chatting last week,
pensive over the hard 08 we are just about done with,
and sending each other music via itunes,
when she dropped this little gem into the chat.

a fragment of a poem by rumi,
the indian poet:

you've flapped and fluttered against limits long enough
you've been a bird without wings
in a house without doors or windows
compassion builds a door
courage cuts a key
ask,
step off into the air
like a baby hawk
strut proudly into the sunlight
not looking back
take sips of this pure wine being poured
don't mind if you've been given a dirty cup
it's nothing.

so this is my re-gifting for the year.

i leave you with that perfect suspended thought,

so you can find your way

and cut your key.

RE-GROUPING : ashley,scotty, colette, hillary . . . people stop showing up at comme ca!

the past couple of weeks around here have driven us to eat french food
at an alarming pace.

i blame both the advent of Comme Ca,
the restaurant that is drawing raves and my craving for skatewing
and mushroom risotto,
and the fact that our friends keep insisting we meet there.

like ashley furnival:

yes, she is the only gal i know who can combine chiffon and plaid and make it work.

i don't know how.

and we literally ran into hilary super there:

an old navy pal, who just happened to be going there the same night we were,
and we happened to be sitting three tables from,
but knew it
THANKS TO FACEBOOK.

gotta love status updates. 

then scott knudsen and colette mcgriff, in town to party,
meeting us up to hug on the pups,
then french 75 the night away:

look.  home-made truffles. 

i am going to be muy gordo soon. 

watch this space.  i may need it.

the next time you're in los angeles may i suggest you book a table at Lucques ahead of time?

here's why:

it is, i think, my favorite restaurant of all time.

there, i've said it, and no, i'm not taking it back.

it is the combination of environment (somewhat minimal, somewhat elegant, somewhat rustic, all leather booths and mirrors and fireplaces and concrete floors and beamed ceilings and tented ivy-covered courtyard and flickering lights and murmurs), and service (calm, discreet, and attentive without asking you how you're doing when your mouth is full), and food.

the food!

i don't know how you classify this food.

suzanne goin made a name for herself here first, but is more well known for A.O.C., her small plate tapas celebrity extravaganza, but no, Lucques is not that place.  Lucques is food you experience, without feeling self-concious.  it is food you savor, perhaps the way the word was meant to be used.  you begin a meal with a pat of sweet butter, almonds covered in olive oil, and coarse sea salt.  you see (and this had to be explained to me), you can dip an almond in the butter, then touch it to the salt, then feel the combination of meaty flavor, butter, and rough sharp salt roll around on your tongue.  and the food just gets more complex from there, without ever, EVER, being referential or absurd.

i walk into this place and feel the world slip away.

it's a gift, one they have kept going for years.

and like all good things, it's a little hard to find.  you could drive right by the glossy black door and slightly hidden sign:

but since you'll be picking us up first,
we'll help you find the way.

gifts beyond reason, given freely and without judgement or expectation -

to say that tim and i are generous with each other throughout the year
is to downplay the rather celebratory way that he has taught me to live life.

we gift each other things as varied as stargazer lilies and cupcakes to trips and designer clothing;
we recognize that our hard work bring with it advantages,
and we take them,
share them,
and spread them around as much as we can.

so christmas is not a denoument for us,
so much as a chance to slow,
re-assess,
and thank our little family for the other presents the year has given us.

because grr and avec bring us things that are harder to quantify.
companionship.
unexpected compassion.
insistent good spirits.
unquestioning belief in our goodness.
persistent need for our attention.
steady breath at night.
sneak attack kisses.
caroling of barks upon arrival.


they give what we should to each other, and to one another.


unquestioning belief
in the goodness of man.


happy holidays, little ones.


and thank you for the gifts you bring.

XMAS IN LALA LAND

thanks for tuning in, kidlets.

big love out to you all,
thanks for all the love, laughter, and good thoughts
you've given me all year.

the blogworld collides : meeting jim at his holiday wonderland

to quote disney:
it's a small world after all.

upon moving to los angeles,
i reached out to old friends,
production friends,
and for the first time,
BLOG friends.

or, as gretchen calls them:
bliends.

jim, of jim's notes,
has been a frequent commenter,
a regular source of good laughs,
and an excellent cook . . . on his blog.

so, when he invited tim and i to his home for a holiday party,
we had to go and see the blogworld,
made real.

needless to say, the house was a riot of lights and color,
and jim?

riot of lights and color.
actually a killer host, kept handing out these drinks called "snowballs"
(stop laughing)
which you can find the recipe for on his blog.

it was a really nice gift,
making the virtual into the real.

merry xmas, blog world.  it's been a good year!

MOTTO TUESDAY : retail therapy

i think james perse's l.a. flagship caught me off guard.

cause the t-shirt king has the right idea.

we all need to
just
breathe.

go on.

i'll wait.

gris means gray : blending in

little one almost disappears in the new place . . .