holidaze in el ay.

hmmm.

i don't know if i'm more surprised by the fact that i was disappointed with the execution,
or the fact that i actually did a double take.

who MAKES horns like that for cars?

things i learned at the los angeles AICP party :

um . . .

let's see . . .

1) don't wear a NAVY prada suit jacket.  no one will get it.  everyone will think it is black, like every other guy's jacket.  they won't even see the warped shawl collar lapels.

2)  don't have as many vodka 7UPs as kira.  see picture above.

3)  don't mock isadora's charity tent by licking the metal bottle for the camera.  it WILL end up on facebook.  it WILL taste like painted metal.

4)  don't tell brooke that the woman in the short dress with the big thighs is oscar de la hoya.  she WILL turn and ask "where"?

5)  don't act so surprised that everyone hasn't seen tommy lee's dick in the sex tape with pam anderson.  even when he walks past you and you smile knowingly and they ask why.

6)  don't assume the go go dancers will be as hot as the ones in montreal.  or paris.  or key west even.

7)  do go home early. 

sigh.

PRETTY GIRLS ALL IN A ROW : why i will always love JLO -

"don't be fooled by the rocks that i got"

the pink diamond

the bentley for the birthday

fly girl

"out of sight", particularly for the one seduction scene with clooney

marchesa gowns before people knew about marchesa

hats

high heeled timberland boots

the skin

the hair

the body

the eyes

and oh yeah, this:

which is kind of like saying:

E) 

all of the above.

kiss the girls : pit bulls are uncomfortable with affection

unless you are willing to let THEM have the chairs.