THE SECRET TO A NINETEEN YEAR RELATIONSHIP :

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yesterday was our anniversary.

nineteen years.

it kind of caught us both off guard.  the time has rocketed by and left a sonic boom.

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we get asked all the time "what's your secret?"

there is no secret.

there is no perfection, no dream state, no ideal.

and realistically, no ONE thing that keeps you going through it all.

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but we make each other happy,

and we treat each other well.

something i learned from my sister lauren, 

as the only two things that matter in the end.

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because you will both fuck up.

and you will both triumph.

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but looking back, these are some of the thing i CAN pass along to you:

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you have to go to paris. and you have to kiss on the streets of paris, often.

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you need to walk the streets of paris at night. and get a picture of each other on the pont neuf, with the tour eiffel alight behind you. to be suspended above water in the paris light.

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practice your smiles. mean them.

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celebrate every thing you can.

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find the beauty in your man.

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shop. together.

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on every continent. (hong kong)

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in every district. (le marais)

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with all your energy. and then some.

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explore every club or restaurant that's off the grid.

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visit the 798 in beijing. see art you have never seen.

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respect your love's loves. anime included.

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hold hands in the forbidden city.

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point out the big things.

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walk down the uncertain paths, keeping an eye on each other.

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find the cyclones. survive them. be in awe of them.

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be thankful for them even as you emerge from them.

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get naked together. sometimes in public.

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get fat. get healthy. indulge. and restrain.

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count the footsteps and the moments.

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make sure ONE of you is an amazing chef.

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kiss. a lot. make it obvious.

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adopt something that needs love.

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then do it again.

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they will expand your love.

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they will magnify your love.

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they will know you.

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find the romance in the world.

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find the prince inside him.

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survive.

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feed.

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look for the signs which are all around you.

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obvious, even after all the years.

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keep the promise.

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