WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE ? i've spent the past few months figuring my part out. here's why. and here's how. -

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some of you may have noticed the drop off in posts here lately.

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perhaps even the distance between intimacy and arm's length in the posts that do appear.

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it's been quite a summer.

so this is your little update, the lifting of a bit of a curtain,

to bring you in a little closer again to what i've been up to.

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the initial plan was to spend the summer here:

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it being a "big" birthday and all,

we were going to head back to limoges to see my mother

during her two month stint as she taught and painted and cooked her way silly

through the summer, and then spend a few weeks ourselves

celebrating change and friends whom we dragged along

in the city we most love.

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but then, as has happened for many of you,

the economy hit,

and we had to face some realities.

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realities like:

we were both trying to start new (ish) careers,

in a new city,

at the worst possible time.

that my choice to direct and desire to shoot photography

coincided in a sudden dry spell with the work that i had previously seen burgeoning.

that the world had changed and was going to be far more competitive.

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and i'm going to do THIS:

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AND THIS:

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for the rest of my life.

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(there.  i've said it in print, finally.  feels like home.)

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so the summer became one of learning and exploring from home,

rather than celebrating and splurging abroad.

(i know, no tears argentina, we made the tough/smart choice).

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i've spent the last five months taking on some amazing,

challenging,

creatively free-reined,

and budgetarily TINY projects.

i've directed with a crew of people whom i've been lucky enough to assemble around me

over years of work (they did me some BIG favors)

and from rather recent connections (also with the favors).

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we've shot film for established but re-inventing designers,

for a small but chic cosmetics company,

for new clothing lines,

and more.

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and the print side has been amazing,

filled with a steep (but rewarding) learning curve on the technical side

(love and thanks to my mentor/tutor, brandon herman, the fine art photographer),

that is buffered nicely by some work that (personally) confirms the most important thing:

i have an eye.  and it's good.

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i hope you all know me well enough now to know that i say these things

from a place secure in my own vanity,

weak spots,

and inestimable good taste

(thank you, maman, for the skill to pick out the most beautiful objet in the room,

regardless of price or provenance.)

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i guess print and the art of catching the moment in ONE image in time,

has long been such a love of mine,

it's nice to see that i'm pretty damn good at executing it myself.

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the film side?  well, i can let that speak for itself over the next few weeks.

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which leads to the real meat of this post:

the unveilings.

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each week i'll be rolling out another of the projects that we've tackled over the last few months,

each week another creative veil lifted,

and i think you'll see that giving up what i thought was the "fun" stuff

(new clothes, travel, throwing parties, etc.)

these past months

taught me both how much i love to work when i love what i'm doing,

and about how far you can go

and how much you can take on

if you really want to do something new with your life.

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also, and this is important,

it never never never would have happened without him:

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but most things that surprise me in this life couldn't,

haven't,

and won't.

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thank you, my catalyst, my task master, my number one fan.

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i think you saw all this coming long before i did.

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i hope all your summers were as interesting/challenging/draining/eye-socket expanding.

i think that's the point of this whole "life" thing.

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coming home. to them. is the best. thing ever.

a week of shooting in vegas at the palms.

fun and crazy and dramatic and very very vegas.

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so coming home to grr and avec?

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you know all the waiting they've done,

the puppy butts and "singing" they do . . .

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it's just their way of reminding you

of what's important in life.

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the love of those you choose,

and the love of those who choose you.

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A LESSON ON HAPPINESS, FROM A MASTER. SOMETHING TO SHARE FAR AND WIDE :

on today of all days, 

it's important to remember the good.

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to learn from the past and focus on the future.

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i present my friend and co-conspirator,

jim, 

and one of the loveliest posts i have read in years.

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tell me this doesn't move you:

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JIM'S TIPS FOR HAPPINESS

JENNY HOLZER IS STALKING MY ASS :

who wouldn't?

you might ask,

and i'd be flattered.

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but for those of you unfamiliar with ms. holzer's oeuvre,

she is a master wordsmith,

who puts her insight and wit about our culture,

into (normally) solid objects,

as if wit is trapped in bronze or stone.

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sometimes they are installations that project light,

sometimes they are cut into marble,

i, personally,

would kill for any of her work in bronze:

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you may notice i've been a long long time fan.

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recently, she has begun to twitter.

amazing.

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just sporadic bursts of art,

delivered to your account.

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she is the only person i follow on my mobile device,

and her words coming to me,

randomly,

suddenly,

have become startlingly prophetic.

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right when i was disappointed that someone i cared about was not living up to their end of the friendship, i received:

YOU CAN'T EXPECT PEOPLE TO BE SOMETHING THEY'RE NOT.

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fine.

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when at a consulting job,

where things were winding down and i was feeling a little redundant,

this poster was being hung behind me in a cubicle:

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and holzer txts me:

A STRONG SENSE OF DUTY IMPRISONS YOU.

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gee.  thanks.

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when unreasonably angry last week:

MURDER HAS ITS SEXUAL SIDE

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uh. huh.

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when procrastinating about a difficult phone call:

BELIEVING IN REBIRTH IS THE SAME AS ADMITTING DEFEAT

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bitch.

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i'm beginning to think she's following me.

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i also love the things you learn from FB :

like how garance dore, 

the blogger, 

pictures herself in red margiela:

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or how the perfect new york sunset looks to bethany tucke

from her living room, one august night.

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or how my mother looked, 

even though her long emails elucidated the trip in great and vivid detail,

during her long two month stay in the limoges area, 

painting, and cooking, and exploring france.

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like how sarah gavigan and i looked last week at cherry pop,

dancing our asses off

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or how some people

chose to survive the insufferable heat and smog

we recently survived here in los angeles:

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knowledge isn't always pretty, people.

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i kind of love it when friends on facebook get startlingly lovely all of the sudden -

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luckily,

ms. katy dickson has never had any self-esteem issues,

but dayum.

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THANDIE NEWTON - pretty girls all in a row :

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girl is under-rated.

girl is a rock star dresser, though.

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WHY I WILL ALWAYS LOVE LINDA EVANGELISTA -

and by love,

i mean irrationally worship,

to the point that were i to meet her in person, 

i am fairly certain swooning would be involved.

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i think the love started here.

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by here, it was beyond a crush.

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then, there came the full on LURVE.

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perhaps my favorite. cover. ever.

and a major reason she haunted me, as a model.

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i loved when she re-emerged in her forties,

looking like this.

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i loved when the Met chose her as the "face" of it's exhibit on models.

i loved it more when she boycotted the exhibit because they did not honor

azzedine alaia, one of her friends and early supporters.

where did a model learn about loyalty?

that was class AND beauty.

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then came this.

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tim should be worried.

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pretty things worth posting -

hello darlings.

sorry if i've seem a bit distracted recently,

missing posts,

throwing up pics without explanations,

etc.

it's been a transition time here,

i've spent my summer buried under self-inflicted projects,

all of which will be leading up to some unveils over the next few weeks.

all good, all grueling workloads, all with intended results.

in the meantime,

i've neglected feeding you the normal collections of fancies that keep us all hopeful

that the beautiful in life

trumps the ugly.

so,

in no particular order other than that summoned by my slightly wildfire addled mind,

(the fires are raging south of los angeles.  apparently the smog now makes us all slightly sick.  glee.),

pretty things

that made me happy this month:

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an hermes leather custom wrapped leica camera.

mmmm.

leathery.

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the common projects (great little label, babies) 

"naval grey" slip on shoe.

if only it were a color i adored.

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molded and drum dyed leather gloves from christian carol poell.

not christian siriano.

this man is a literal genius,

and he has no catch-phrase or shoes at payless.

there's a reason.

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yes, this tuxedo is covered with photographic imprints of a crowd at a rock concert.

no, i normally do not like pattern.

yes, i must have this.

for the next concert i go to.

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oops.

deerskin drum dyed leather jacket

by christian carol poell.

with built in gloves.

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this dreamy, dreamy, dreamy dress from the givenchy couture.

and for those of you out there saying things like:

"but where does anyone wear these things",

you are missing the point entirely.

you wear these things

ANYWHERE YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE.

because you have to desire something

in order to love it

in order to understand it

in order to enjoy it.

and look, the four stages of relationships:

desire, love, understand, enjoy.

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then you can marry it in this.

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these are just valextra purses.

in the way obama is "just" a president.

or celebrity deaths are "just" the hottest trend right now.

(too soon?  no, i don't think so.)

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matt loewen eating cake.

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a dior joiallerie ring.

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a dior couture model hanging from a balcony.

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a reminder to support the arts.

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an appreciation for the trend in taxidermy headgear.

don't ask.

just enjoy.

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smoke gets in my eyes. and that's pretty rough, not romantic -

for those of you keeping track of things,

the los angeles fires are particularly scary this year.

while most of them occur south or north of the actual city,

they nonetheless affect the whole metropolitan area.

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we woke up three days ago with crushing migraines,

feeling nauseous, listless, and moody.

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and no, it was not because we have no money for the final barney's designer clearance.

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though that didn't help.

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it's apparently because the fires are so huge,

they literally take the air quality in this city to red alert,

and you are advised to not be outside if you don't have to,

don't exercise unless you want your lungs to burn,

and to keep pets indoors.

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not that we don't already keep them inside.  on the couch.

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but this picture might help illustrate it better.

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these were taken from hollywood, of the "station fire" that is raging out of control,

around mid-day,

sunday:

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this is one of four fires around the city.

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cross your fingers.

and hold your breath.

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