Sunday, January 6, 2008

a black fly in your chardonnay -

so you know how ikea is really freakin big?

doesn't matter where you go, it's big. and you walk through every one of those freakin little fake room displays while people with strollers and those odd little carts (which have a name like FORKENLOLLER) and all you really want it to buy your freakin closet system and GET OUT of there, but you're tired and you're finally through it all, and you get to the check out, and then you have to arrange delivery and you're PARCHED and you go the vending machine because you don't want to wait in line for the scandanavian lingonberry soda and you press the button for gatorade because you have to rehydrate, like NOW, and this happens:


i can't remember if this is technically irony,
or if it just SUCKS.

which was also alanis' problem with that song.

7 comments:

editor said...

HA HA HA.
HA HA HA.
(i wish i could write it bigger, to convey the loud laughter in my head - NOT at the predicament you found yourself in before the vending machine, but at your post. either people are a lot funnier this year, or ... or else it's me.)

The Guv'ner said...

Ha! I too was in Ikea this weekend and drank the Lingonberry juice (that stuff is way sweet though!) and downed some Swedish apple cake (yum!). I get irate at all the people with their precious snowflakes in strollers in IKEA. I mean who wants to take a flailing toddler to a place like that where there are 2 million sweaty, anxious, obnoxious other people who only want to mow them down with their cart? Grrrr.

On the upside I did buy STUFF.

Suze said...

I wish you would've posted the "after photo" where you pushed, kicked and shoved the machine until two fell for your efforts. Oh, wait, that's just me? My bad.

TravelGretta said...

I'll bet that made you yell out FORKENLOLLER! at the top of your lungs.

This totally made me laugh!

Whiskeymarie said...

I was in IKEA once this past summer, and it was grossly crowded as usual. I don't remember what we were talking about, but for some reason I accidentally said the word "VAGINA" really loud. (In fact, if I remember correctly I even IKEA-ized that word into vaginajuurken or something like that.)

I think I managed to stop time in the candle section that day, such were the frozen, silent, angry looks that were directed at me.

FORKENLOLLER!

landis smithers said...

ah, my compatriots in rage, i salute you as well:

FORKENLOLLER TO THE MASSES!

i am playing outside said...

dude, that lingonberry drink is absolutely wonderful :)